7 Pivotal Decisions You Can Make to Reconnect with Those Who Have Drifted Away

Each month, I share seven pivotal decisions or practices designed to strengthen us as Christ-followers and help build healthier, more vibrant churches. This week I want to focus on being intentional about reaching those who have drifted away from the church.

After the resurrection of Jesus in Mark 16, the angel gives a specific instruction that we often read too quickly: “But go, tell his disciples and Peter…” (Mark 16:7). That phrase matters. We often focus on Peter and his denial of Jesus in a very public way. But it wasn’t just Peter. All of the disciples of Jesus abandoned Him. They were still scattered on the resurrection morning when the women showed up at the tomb to anoint the body of Jesus.

The angel announces, “But go, tell his disciples and Peter.” What a word of grace. It reminds us that the gospel is not just for those who stayed—it’s for those who drifted. Every church in our association is surrounded by people like this. Not hostile people. Not hardened people. Just people who got discouraged, distracted, hurt, or ashamed—and slowly disconnected.

The question is: Will we go after them? Below are seven practical and actionable ways to reclaim those who have drifted:

1. Identify the People Who Have Drifted

You cannot reach who you have not recognized. Take time to review your membership, attendance patterns, and small groups. Think through who hasn’t been present in recent months. Create a written list of 10–20 individuals or families who have drifted. Pray over those names regularly.

2. Take Personal Responsibility

Restoration rarely happens by accident. Someone must take initiative. The angel didn’t say, “They’ll find their way back.” He said, “Go tell…” Assign each name to a leader—pastors, deacons, or group leaders—so every person has someone intentionally pursuing them. This is not just to create more work for the pastor. Who will you pursue?

3. Lead with Grace, Not Guilt

Most people who have drifted already carry some level of shame or discomfort. Jesus didn’t lead with correction—He led with invitation. Reach out and say things like, “We’ve missed you,” “You matter to us,” and “How can we pray for you?” Grace opens hearts. Guilt closes them.

4. Make the First Move Personal

Mass communication rarely brings people back. Personal connection often does. A phone call, a handwritten note, and a coffee invitation are powerful expressions to them that you care. A simple “You’ve been on my heart” can go a long way.

5. Listen for the Real Story

People don’t drift without a reason. Often, there’s more beneath the surface. Listen more than you talk. Resist the urge to fix everything. Seek to understand first.

6. Provide a Clear Path Back

Many who have been away hesitate because they don’t know how to return. Offer simple, clear next steps like “Sit with me this Sunday,” “Join our group this week,” or “Let’s serve together.”

7. Celebrate Stories of Restoration

What you celebrate shapes your culture. When people return, it reminds the church that God is still restoring lives. Share testimonies appropriately and thoughtfully of people reconnecting and growing again.

The resurrection message was not, “Wait for them to come back.” It was, “Go tell.” Healthy churches don’t just grow by reaching new people—they grow by reclaiming those who have drifted. Somewhere near your church is someone who feels like they’ve gone too far, stayed away too long, or failed too deeply. And they are waiting to hear their name included in the grace of God.

Dr. Stan Parris
Senior Pastor, Franklin Heights Church
Executive Director, FHC Network
Director, FCMBA

You can listen to Stan’s podcast, Pivotal Decisions, on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, YouTube and any place you find podcasts.